1. The quiet of 4 a.m. even in Los Angeles
2. Taking a break after a fight with a friend, that could last 48 years.
3. Humans don’t know how good they smell. Stop with the perfume.
4. Coyotes taste like chicken.
5. Everything looks different when you’re jumping rooftop to rooftop.
6. People really should stop saying “Bite me” and “Kill me now.” It’s torture.
7. A stake isn’t deadly. It’s just annoying.
8. The Sun is a bitch with entitlement issues.
9. Time to think…is overrated.
10. Where to hide the bodies, a conundrum worsened by forensic scientists. Blast them.

I asked author F.M. Hopkins for a vampire list…

yikes.